Svagito R. Liebermeister visited us at NO MIND festival and did workshops on Family Constellation, Partnership, Money and Trauma.
This article is about Family Constellations and will be followed by a second one, on Partnership. There will also and be a video interview, done during the festival.
Svagito R. Liebermeister is influenced by several psychological disciplines and has been working as a therapist for more than 25 years. He has also been a disciple of the Indian mystic Osho and includes meditation as a therapeutic tool in his work.
In the Family Constellation practise he includes everybody that belongs to it, not just the parents. Families are complex systems and difficulties, in our own lives, often have their roots long back in the family history. In a way, we may carry our ancestors problems, and Svagito helps us to bring them back, to where they belong, in order to liberate ourselves from them.
Quotes from Svagito´s workshop on Family Constellations:
Parents are the children’s life. What children learn from them, is how they relate to life. To be a parent is an amazing experience, but also challenging. The child comes from oneness and goes to separation from their parents. We lose paradise when we come into life. But we have to go through this process. Then we search for oneness again in meditation – we like to come back to the paradise that we have lost, on a different level… There is often disturbance in this process, we cling to our parents, or we like to get rid of them, too soon. We need to come back to a natural flow in this separation… It does not matter how your parents are, they are your parents – and you need a loving connection to them. If you call yourself enlightened you must be grateful for your parents.
Everybody has to be disappointed with their parents. We expect them to be gods and goddess, we like to admire them. Then we notice that that is not the case, and we are do not like it. Our partners disappoint us, and we have to agree to that. It is OK to be disappointed needy and angry…My therapy is for adults, I do not agree to let someone behave like a little child in my treatment…When you have come to peace with your mama and dad, you do not need treatment any more … Our life is build on many generations.
I prefer to do work, not talk.
As a child we create a create a “life script” that is influenced by our upbringing and this script may have originated several generations back. If we have made it our own, we can free ourself from it by having it revealed, understanding that we do not have to carry destructive patterns, that did not belong to us in the first place. We just took them for granted, “that´s who I am” or “that is what I have learned to be true”. The reason we carry them is that we are an integrated part of our family and we are also influenced by social and cultural practices in our daily life.
Apart from unique events that some relatives may have had to face, like traumas for example, which consequences has passed on to us, there is always a collective consciousness. It is based on prior family history, in order to maintain kinship and belonging - moral codes is an example. (Most people have a very basic, and strong, instinct to belong.) This collective force always try to maintain a balance. Someone may, for example, unconsciously carry the consequences of what another, in former generations, did. This collective conciousness has a great influence on the way we perceive our own reality.
Identification with other family members is also common. When we do, we can not see clearly and we try to carry someone else´s feelings, shame, guilt and so on. But we must set these persons free to endure their own destiny. If we want to become, free from entanglements of the family bonds, and live our lives in accordance to who we truly are, we have to find our own balance according to our own and the other´s place,
Family Constellation therapy is a holistic approach, in order to make the whole picture come to light. Who ever might have had an influence on the client´s current problem is brought into the scene, by representatives to (dead or living) parents, grandparents, siblings and others that have affected the client´s life experiences. Him/her- self is mostly passive, interpreting what happens. In this way it can be possible to see from where the problematic issues are originating. If the client understands, he/she sends them back to where they belonged and by doing so, get rid of them. To take responsibility for someone else’s mistakes can actually be like take his dignity away from him.
Some kind of release often happens immediately when clarity is revealed. But it is important to understand that the process has it´s own time. The client gets in contact with something deep inside and can work things out, on his/her own accord. As long as we reject our parents, or or family history, we are still bonded to them and can not be truly free to orchestrate, and be entitled to, our own life.